.its not just a straight issue.

Lately i have been hearing a lot of talk about same sex violence. After participating in a few of these conversations, I realize that many feel like its okay because they are the same sex. Well, unfortunately playa, dat aint okay. Hitting the person that you're dating is not okay whether they're male or female.

This year i came out of an abusive relationship. I can't exactly tell u how it started but it was crazy. I remember we had an argument... it was late at night. I don't know what it was about or anything. What i do remember is turning away from the door, she said "hey," i turned around and she hit me. Not a slap, but a full force punch to my face. So many thoughts ran thru my head... i juss couldn't believe what happened. Another altercation we had was bad. It was splash 08. Anybody that knows me knows that i am anti-splash. I feel like its a lil hood. (I mean come on people... have a little class.) So her friends had been asking her to go and she compromised and wasn't gonna go for me. The day of the beach (sunday) we were up early. She was braiding my hair and her friend called. She was begging her to go to splash. Now this was the day before our 5th month anniversary. I planned to surprise her and take her out to dinner and go parlay. Then the next day Uh Huh Her was playing somewhere in town, so we were going to the concert. Aaaaanywho. She told her friend yes. So i juss took out my phone and started textin my patnas askin them wat dey was doin and if they wanted to go out to dinner. I mean she knew we had plans... she juss didn't know what. So when i started texting she got upset, stormed off and called me a bitch. Um... wat did i do? So i got up and was like "what u call me?" and shes grabbin all my stuff (sidekick, clothes, flat iron... EVERYTHTING) throwin it outside... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! so im tryna talk to her and she hits me... in the face... again. i grab my face and she slams me against the wall and starts going at me. im trying to push her off and block at the same time which just isn't happening. so im walking off to my car and she starts throwing full force punches in the back of my head to the point where im blacking out. All this time im trying to wrap my head around this one question: how is it that the same person that i just kissed, just had sex with last night, just told me she loved me, and is wearing my ring, is going at me like this?" Once im in the car she tries to break in my window, take off a windshield wiper, and a side mirror. Mind you, we hadn't had an argument in weeks. What happened? So she told me that she was gonna change... aight coo. we got bk together and everything was going good. For months we were good... then out of nowhere we got into it and she hit me. I blacked out for a minute and she was just going at me. Im not gettin my ass whooped dis time. so i pushed her... full force and just cussed her out. she pushed me and went to hit me and i ducked. she choked me and i was just wondering again... what the fuck? then it was just fight after fight until we finally broke up while i was in the hospital. she left because "i couldn't get my shit together" and cuz of my moms. seriously my dude? SERIOUSLY? so AFTER we broke up there were 2 more occasions... once in the car after she found out about me chillin wit another girl and then another one where i don't remember how it started but it was somethin serious. i think i almost died that day.

Now, with me coming out of an abusive household (dad was crazy. only memories of him are him hitting moms) u would think i woulda been gone right? Iono what kept me in that cycle. This effected me so much that it started to fuck with my life. I was having dreams and moving so cautiously. I used to flinch if she moved to quick. I kno some of yall may call me a punk or lame cuz i didn't hit back. but what would that have solved? it woulda ended with somebody calling the cops and ME going to jail. Im the nigga in the basketball shorts, fitted and tee. Im going guaranteed (yall know HPD). Plus this was who i was in a relationship with... this was who i loved... why would i hit her? Why would she hit me?

i swore i would never put myself in that situation again. i just don't want it to get to a point where i have to bust a cap in a bitch to get my point across.

As a stud... a "dominant" figure... i can't tell you how much it hurts to have your partner put their hands on you. Most studs are too embarrassed to talk about it... but it happens. Be real and admit it to yourselves... this shit is real.

but violence is more likely to occur with a stud hitting a femme.

I see these younger (my generation) studs choosing the violent route. they get mad over petty bullshit and go upside their girlfriend's head. dat shit ain't cool homie. imagine if that was your sister... you'd be all over the nigga that put them bruises on her. i know of studs that don't get their way and just lose it. They choose to use their hands instead of their words. No argument should come to that. That is your girlfriend. the person you sleep with, the person you say that you love, the person you're supposed to protect... why would you harm them? maybe she hit u first but don't swing back... leave. Maybe she said something smart to you... walk away. Trust me it will be the best decision you have ever made.

So to the ones that are in a violent, emotional, or sexually abusive relationship... whether you are being abused or you are the abuser... get out and get some help.

don't just be quiet...


speak up.



- Yungin. ((f.l.h))