aight. anyone that knows me knows that i love femmes. i do... juss everything about them. how they smell, how they walk, how they talk. EVERYTHING!!! but that seems to be my issue! i love girls and they see that so they love me back! all different colors, shapes, and sizes. girls love Cru. i've heard some say its my ego (Crusay), my "swagger", how i carry myself, or this random ass accent i have. its cool for me cuz i used to be a geek back in the gap lol. with girls come attachments. being with another girl produces an emotional bond even if yall are just talking. people start catching feelings and then someone's heart gets broke sooner or later.
with me dealing with a few girls (yes they know about each other) i start to give a fuck about them. when they act shady, i act out. when they lie, i catch them. when they catch attitudes over something stupid, i try to smooth it over. when they wanna vent to me about their exes, i listen. if we go out, i open doors and pay for whatever it is we will do that night (yes every date). if we stay in, i cook. im some what of a gentleman type. that makes them like me more aaaaaand then comes the drama.
sometimes i feel like a stock. like these girls have claims on me. 2 of em don't even stay in texas... 1 is rather irrelevant at this point and the other... well... damn. in her words "i played myself". i coulda had a good girl but muthafukkin crystal and her promises. i did play myself, but whenever she calls, i listen to her go off and put me in my place. she understands me... both sides of me. shit she calls me by my legal name. she had quite an impact on me. its certain cd's i try not to play because they remind me of her (Jim Jones - Pray IV Reign).
then i got a younger chick. she apparently dropped allllllll of her hoes to talk to me. WOW SON. when i found that out my only reply was "all of em?!" lol. YES NIGGA ALL OF THEM! dayum. she's serious about this right? she's an awesome chick. she hasn't put me in my place yet. she's a fast lifer though. .cash.clubs.cars.clothes&&chicks. she's definitely about a couple of those so i guess technically she cant tell me nothin.
another chick. she's coo but i've been told i gotta cut her off. gotta hate when they beef right? especially when having you in common is completely coincidental. so... no comment?
next one i don't know what the hell is goin on. shit i never know whats goin on. she makes me scratch my head. but she calls every night so we can knock out together. the simple things matter right?
then there's my ex. "Dear Baby Jesus, thank you for sanity. - Charlene". okay so my ex is kinda nuts and indecisive. she'd rather give a lame chance after chance than give a good nigga another chance. but then i get these random i love you text messages. i just look at her as a friend now. like... das my nigga wit good p*ssy that i don't get anymore (don't think i want it... i hear the girl she smashin got that uh-uh).
uh-uh.
so how do i deal with the drama? how do i deal with the interferences from the outside world, my exes and their exes?
i dont.
although i have abandonment issues, im quite quick to leave. i'll throw a bitch the finger quickly. its hard after u get attached to let go of em but i get over it. shrug it off and chill chill wit another one. i mean why should i sit there and be upset over it? i'd rather go to the club, dance, drink, and chill. i mean im an easy going cat. sometimes i make the wrong decision, sometimes its them... depending on what they do, i may have hard feelings but most of the time i dont.
alot of times i ask myself "u tired of goin thru the same thing yet?" sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes no... i love the fact that these girls cant get enough of me. i love that my smile makes a girl wanna come over and talk to me. i admit it... i love talking to different women of all races. but then again...its like i get tired of the games, the lies, and the exes. deception ain't my thing mayne. i get tired of not comin home to nobody. the bed gets lonely as shit. im not sayin i want a girl to live with me (im not ready yet), but a girl that was here a couple days wouldn't hurt. but its the different girls staying over that i like... im not saying im promiscuous... although if u analyzed my summer it would seem that i am... but im not. 1 girl at a time (well there was that one time) but u get what im sayin. a lot of girls i can seriously just lay down with. its not always about gettin the booty. a lot of times the company is enough...but sex can change everything. sometimes i can take it as it just being sex but then again sex can make that emotional bond stronger or it could break it. it could lead to confusion, arguments and eventually a break up.
Crusay, Crusay...
what have i gotten myself into?
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
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