skip to main |
skip to sidebar
eyes all hazy from the smoke and the blacklight
she used to wanna be the reason i got on some ack right
but last night she allowed me to give her my all
thoughts in my mind conveyed to her body wit 1 phone call
like a pro she took care of what she knew she could never get
so she took advantage until she could take no more of it
she looked back at me and asked for another hit
not from the drugs... i guess im her new fix
this 2 woman show played for only one night
no reunion tours no encores no flights
no fights with each other cuz she wasn't cast for the season
my e ticket out my mind she was here for that reason
didn't have to toss money or have to be someone other than me
but we went to a place that i would rather be
lost in ecstasy then lost in my dreams
she makes houstatlantavegas more interesting than it seems
its even better since she hasn't called or text
cuz she knows that to me it was only sex.
true story. (circa 8/28/09-8/29/09)
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
a lot of people dont understand that i dream in color... forreal... i have vivid dreams... touch, taste, smell, hear, & see everything. so last night i had a dream... it was about every girl i had been with.
so... it started off with me waking up in my bed... sun all shiny and shit... smellin breakfast... and for some reason "International Playaz Anthem" is playin. so the beat drops... i hop outta bed and brush my teeth and walk in my kitchen to c who is cookin in my damn crib! So i walk in and it's my last girlfriend crystal... i kiss her and give her a hug and she switches up on me in to (muthafuckfuckme!)gemini... so im like wat da hell im trippin! so im talkin to her and she switches up into my first girlfriend britney... so im like i gotta go...
every thing goes black and fades back in... its night time and im on top of some girl. i look up and its (for disclosure purposes) heather so im like okay coo... lets keep it here. then she switches into stellz, who switches into jackie, who switches into rachael? (WAT DA HELL IS GOIN ON RIGHT?!) so this is gettin un-be-fuckin'-lievable. i gotta be trippin. so the whole scene switches to the bedroom with the blacklight... so im layin in the bed with corey(?) who scared the SHIT out of me... i knew it was a dream then. so im holdin her and it juss starts goin thru every single girl... and then she disappeared. and it was just me...
and these words came to me...
if i told u all i feel and everything i see
you would walk away from me in disbelief
i've felt pain and seen angels who have torn me apart
thought they were heaven sent but it seemed they didn't have a heart
made love to the sexiest women i've ever seen
even had a brief stint with a chick in a few magazines
but she messed up wat i had wit this girl i been after
2 years runnin and i still cant catch her
seems wat i lack is definition in the situation
but while laid up in the hospital God showed me how to be patient
so im waitin for the next chance to be found
cuz u never kno how everything could turn around
sometimes i wanna shake the nice guy image in me
imagine me not givin a fuck... thats just not in me
but i wont remain the one that they call when the need the pluck jones
i get tired of bein used and i'd honestly rather be alone
cuz i can't take the lies, the crying, and the games
its like they get with me and still think they with these lames
so bullshit me not save your stories for someone else
take me or leave me cuz i can be by myself.
.welcome to my reality.welcome to my heartbreak.
- Yungin ((f.l.h))
every inch of her is perfect from her hair to her toes
after one kiss she make u feel like u blowed
one look in her eyes can take u deep inside her mind
her beauty is priceless so she could never be a dime
i keep seeing her face every time i go to sleep
remembering what it was like when she was layin next to me
i could feel her heart beating almost in sync with mine
they say the beautiful ones hurt u every time
this one is different although she gave me a little pain
i still want to show her this painted picture in my brain
she hard to stay away from no matter how much i tell myself no
cuz all i can think about is how when she's near i lose control
from my mind to my body its like she has some kind of hold
she's a captivating woman with a beautiful soul
tryna let her go but i can't shake free
cuz im still wantin her even after she's done with me.
- Yungin.
u decended down from heaven just to see me again
u reached out your hand and told me lets be friends
so i reached out to grab you and my hand went through
and u looked at me and said ur not being true
tell me your real feelings u have no reason to hide
so i showed u my heart as tears fell from my eyes
it was beaten and torn so many pieces were gone
from every lover before that took a piece of me and then moved on
i unlocked the chain and exposed the feelings inside
my reality of you was too much so u started floating back to the sky
i reached out my hand to grab you once again
and it didn't go through so i pulled u back and made u listen
i spoke my truth my every thought about you
things my reality wont say because its scared to
u began to smile and my mind was put at ease
then u said something that knocked me down to my knees
u told me its been nice but i took our time spent too seriously
u told me that u cared but u was in the business of misery
you reached out to grab a piece of my heart so i locked it
and told u this ain't our first time u already have a piece in your pocket.
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
i saw u last night in my dreams
u were an angel complete with a halo and wings
with every kiss i could taste ur lips
u made love to me with ur words and then i started to slip
i started to fall fast & u started falling too
but in reality it was just me holding on to you
u shook me free and watched me fall
and floated back to heaven with no regrets at all.
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
so lately things have been a bit crazy for me... this year has been crazy for me. my nephew was born (das my duuude!), i lost my wife, wrecked my car, got laid off twice, im 2 steps off my fathers ass, was in the hospital for a min, lost one of my best friends (but i realize she needed to go anyway), got played by 1 out of 2 females from the same camp, lost a good girl because of a dumbass ex, broke someone's heart back in march, released a mixtape that coulda done better, was on depression meds for about a month and a half, had a few physical altercations, dated 2 strippers, my best girl moved to ny, and i picked up a couple of old vices along the way.
needless to say, im exhausted.
im tired people. i've given so much of myself to the world, and i am drained. im fucking tired... thats why im not in the club and thats y u don't see me in the streets. i've started to walk back into seclusion and honestly im not beefing with it. i got these people that see how im livin, they love how i walk, how i talk, how i dress, how girls dig on me, but they don't know whats behind the door. they don't know what its like to be used to being in a relationship and that disappearing... that loneliness when ur laying in ur bed at night and there isn't a body laying next to u holding u like u are the only person left in the world...they don't know what its like to have to watch every corner because some jealous ass stud could be ready to jump u at any minute... they don't know what it's like to have almost everything u love snatched away from u all in 1 day... they don't know what its like to question ur friends cuz u can't trust anybody around u... i mean yall see me... i always have a smile on my face when i step out in the public but the only reason that is is because my moms always taught my sister and i to look our best on our worst day... and i always look my best (that should tell u something). im not asking for sympathy. im not asking for phone calls or text messages. im just askin for people to cut the bullshit and start being real. stop lyin. stop keeping people around just to keep them around. if u dont wanna be friends wit that nigga then duce duce. u owe nobody an explanation for what u do. stop mistreating people. treat people like u wanna be treated. stop hatin cuz a nigga is gettin money and you not. take a second and see what it is that that person is doin different from u that is making them successful. quit the jealousy and the backstabbing. learn how to bring nothing but the best to the table so u can avoid bullshit results. and please people, stop being so judgmental and understand that people fuck up and they deserve second chances. God has given us all a second chance, and since we are no better than Him, who are we to deprive someone that is as equally guilty as we are of a second chance?
i just feel like i need a break from the world...
but at the end of the day this is reality...
my reality.
and my reality is that im falling.
its a slow fall but its faster than what i expected. im falling away from everything and everyone so quick that half the time i don't wanna be bothered. juss gimmie my blacklight and my mix cd and lemme sit in the clouds by my dolo until im okay. let me cry... its okay for me to do that. let me smile when im actually having a good day. let me be me and don't try to take the elements that make me Charlene Yvette Cruse away. and stop taking shots at Crusay because this is an ego that you created.
so like my about me says...
.welcome to my reality.
are u ready to take this journey with me?
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
cocky much? yes i am thanks for askin
yall sideline haters while we in the coupe laughin
roof absent wit ya girl in the passenger
2 seater ridin so her patna in her lap and uh
i wouldnt wait up if i was you
cuz by the end of the night she gon be screamin Yung Cru
she been forgot about u soon as she seen my face &
she said u dunebuggyin im nascar racin
u steady hatin im steady stuntin
check the first single nigga i said i wasn't frontin
u can talk it but my clique we walk it out
gettin paper's our conversation so what is it u talkin bout?
we laugh at the mini me's yung cru wanna be's
watchin my every move cuz im who ya girl wanna see
mark ya body up like me but im who you'll never be
im on my a-game u last in line like the letter "Z"
- Yungin. ((f.l.h))
i used to be this lil chick she had been kickin it wit
now im lookin around and she's gone cuz of the bullshit
what am i to do? i cant erase the past
the thoughts in my head made me fall on my ass
shoulda listened to my heart cuz from the start i knew not
but i jumped to conclusions and she left the starting spot
wish i could bring her back to me my apologies wont change anything
but if she turned around she would turn into my everything
even then she was the only one i was thinkin bout
only one i was dreamin bout now im lookin up like help me out
bring this angel back into my presence
i dun messed up my blessin and already im stressin
i juss wanna go back to the place we was before
i know ur mind is made up but im sayin don't close this door
i told u i can show and prove and thats what im willin to do
me + u there's no way that we can lose
me and u fit together apollonia and prince style
i know u feel it too its in ya eyes whenever u smile
so before u leave shorty think twice
u could lose out on one of the greatest niggas in ur life.
- Yungin. ((.flh.))
