lost one.

Normally in a situation like this i would go off a little more than usual because of the sensitivity of the subject. im no longer sensitive to it anymore. if anything it's made me stronger, but we gotta learn from our mistakes.

So. December 1, 2007 i met what i thought was the end of my life... my wife. i just knew she was the one. dat was gon b my baby boo! until february 2009 when she left a nigga at the hospital heart broken on crutches. amazing right? a lot of love there. After i got out of the hospital (and could finally walk again) i went to c my new ex girlfriend. i vividly remember sitting in her living room as these words came out of her mouth: "i just want to be your friend. you need to move on. u can tell me about the other girls its coo." now i know yall are like... dude u kno she didn't mean that... no girl does. hmm. i thought she did. anybody cold-hearted enough to break up wit u in the hospital (it was a nice lengthy stay too) really means that shit. so coo. i took it for what it was. started talkin to an 18 yr old from TSU. Shorty was coo. Nothing ever happened between us. no kissing no sex. her attitude was a bit much but i was tryna stick with black women (and not go back to my snow bunny ways lol). I told my ex about her and she told me, "i don't give a fuck. i told u to move on." coo. So one night im takin the TSU chick and some of her friends to Big Yo's (dropping them off... ionfuckswitdemlikedat) and my ex just so happens to call and hears the new new in the background and goes off. She was pissed to the highest pisstivity (thanks to Brian Angel from Day26 for the word) when she heard this girl. So i have one in my car saying "tell her she needs to chill out. u need to control her" and the other in my ear saying "how u got another bitch in the car with you?" but wait... didn't u tell me you don't give a fuck? hmm... so. this caused a strain on me and the chick from TSU and we parted ways thanks to these words from my ex, "lets work it out babe." so another chick comes about and i start to do what u asked but u get mad about it and all of a sudden wanna work it out... riiiight. hella suspicious. So i let my ex move in (her shit was here more than she was... and its not like she had a job) and the night we were moving some of her stuff her and the TSU chicky got a chance to talk. Lies were told, i got slapped in the back of my head while driving (blacked out for a good 3.5) and when we get home my ex wants to argue and fight... blaming me. but i thought u said move on?

*shrugs shoulders* maybe i missed it...

so my ex goes out of state for a week. i take care of this big ass fuckin dog that can get me kicked out of my apts and get no appreciation for it. the night before she left for Tennessee, a nice chicky leans over the balcony across from me and says "hey my roommate thinks ur hot" if u kno me u kno i said "coo." so the week that my ex is gone to Tennessee me and the roommate chop it up a little. no chill chill shit cuz her and my ex knew each other really well and couldn't (still can't) stand each other. Ex comes back from Tennessee and we fall out. Huge physical altercation. She broke lamps, threw tables, chairs... crazy? yes... y yes she is. bitch had the side of my face swollen and never once did i hit this girl. i pushed and grabbed her so she would stop hitting me but that would be it. Of course she moves out (she's one that walks out a lot when she doesn't get her way). She moves to Rosenberg and then goes to Wharton for a couple weeks. So we talk for that 1st week and then she disappears. dodging phone calls, myspaces... so im like maybe she is finally done. awesome. well... remember the chicky from cross the way (the balcony chick)... well turns out she was best friends with a chick i was chillin wit in 07 before i met my ex. coo. i c them in the pool and then we all start chillin on the reggie. its me, the balcony chicky, the roomate, and the 07 chick. coo. so i have a performance one sunday evening. lets just say tequila is a horrible person but a wonderful drink. needless to say between the 4 of us... we kno each other quite well now. ironically the day after... my ex comes back. okay... so i tell her what happened and she says she never wants to talk to me again. ...but i thought u said "move on"? So y does it matter again?

*shrugs shoulders* maybe i missed it?

Oookay... so me and the balcony chicky start chillin hard... and who comes back again? (never fails) my ex... she says "lets be friends." im thinkin "biish u been sayin this shit since february... it is all of may now" so okay. she finds out me and the balcony chicky are chillin. she asks and i tell her the truth(stop lyin to females. it ain't worth the drama). another temper tantrum thrown by my ex... another argument. so what does she do? she decides to fight fire with fire... she goes and gets her some and then hops into a relationship with this chick for all of about a week. and then calls me like this is Usher's "Confessions" im like... um okay. its like she almost wanted me to be mad and go off... i cared but i didn't... so she goes bk to worrying about me and the balcony chicky (then that situation self-destructs... thats a whole different blog right there). My ex comes over and starts talkin bout how i just have oh so many hoes... (where... plz point em out) she's mad about the girls from across the way and the TSU chick. for what? She's still mad about the break up. So one sunday we're talking and we get into it. Okay she's m.i.a for a week. so the next sunday i text her like "damn u must really be mad" and she says "im just done with your bullshit." hmmm. my bullshit? lemme run this down: soooo u tell me to move on and then get mad when i do. u find out about the girl and wanna fight me and her. u come back only to leave again and get mad when i really start spreading my wings. then you get with this rachet (yezz biish... rachet) azz stud who sits on her ass all day, doesn't go to work, smokes all your weed and cigs, drinks up everything, (has threatened me and ain't even met me by the way) puts you through a table and punches you in the chest over some macaroni and cheese and i have the bullshit?

*shrugs shoulders* i gotta be missing it...

here's the moral of the story: mean what you say and say what you mean. when you break up with someone and tell them to move on, expect it to be done. don't nobody care about yo feelings boo. especially when u leave a nigga in the hospital after the doctors say "hey u may not walk again cuz we don't know whats wrong with u." when you have it all and its a satisfying relationship... stay... cuz you don't know what you've got til its gone (joni mitchell never lied). and everytime you see somebody going for what you used to have... stop getting upset. you let that person go so deal with it. quit with the angry text messaging and phone calls and stop blaming other people for the way things are. be a grown ass woman and take responsibility for your own actions.

and to her: thank you for setting me free. i'm a lil drained on relationships now but i can say i am honestly better without you... hate that it's not the same for u but hey... sorry im a champion... and you...

u lost one.

- Yungin. ((f.l.h))