...never know how everything could turn around

i loved her fancy underwear.

i met her officially in april. shortly after that, we were in each others beds. ironically me and the prom queen started talking cuz she was supposed to be gettin me to get at her roommate. clearly that didn't happen. we spent much time together. it was convenient cuz she stayed in the complex. she'd juss walk over and it was goin daun diggity. i had been warned about her from everybody, but i couldn't help her. she was dangerous... the good but bad kind. amazing sexually... lied her ass off. and when i would catch her in a lie, she'd kiss me. never has a girl had me wrapped like that. we weren't together... i give her that. but the i love you's were so sincere. all game... in the back of my head i knew it. i was so apprehensive of a lot that she did. so i found out some things... and hey i had to bounce. if she woulda been honest i woulda worked it out.

...waiting for the chance to get to tell her im the one she should be with.

so her best friend... is like prom queen version 2.No... she was one of prom queens roommates that i knew from 2007 (it juss clicked for some of yall who these people are lmao) so we had previous history. thanks to prom queen being her new bestie... we were "reaquainted" with each other. so prom queen screws up (she's actually behind me finding out a few things... so many stories on that) and version 2.No swoops in... real Crusay style lol... and we "connect" again. coo... but then she starts slippin... fallin fast... but she always found a way back into ecstacy... then i started noticing how a lot of her steps were duplications of the prom queen... the way she moved, the way she talked... the "boo's" and "baby's" were all too familiar... seriously they sounded exactly the same. i even caught my self while i was holdin her and she said "i just feel so safe here... with you" and it was like while she was saying it, her and the prom queen's body were fading in and out... it was really REALLY trippy. and that was when i said "she's about to lose herself" so she started feeding me the same exact stories. and honestly sometimes i had to look at my phone and see if i was really talking to her! so finally i got to the point where i said "ima just be her friend. ima have to tell her shes been dropped... i kno she gon be hurt but we got bigger and better things that are way more worth it (shout out to miss "she got it" *all smiles*). then i was like iono... then i saw a myspace update (people... be careful what YOU post on myspace... ur lies are showing. and take responsibility for your actions... myspace ain't gettin messy, u juss mad cuz u got found out! be a grown woman!) and i saw 2.No commented on Prom Queen's status... (investigation time) so im QQin... QQin... QQin... and i start noticing more and more things... so she's as much of a liar as the prom queen. haha. crystal told me bout dem hoes...

she had it all figured out...

moral of the day people is don't be a dumb ass... don't go watch the movie that everybody n they mama saw n try to make a movie juss like it... we can tell ur a carbon copy. switch up the game mayne.

and:

to Heather and Jackie aka Gemini and Mya aka Delina and Lenae:

Congratulations... 1 out of 2 girls pullin the okie doke on Crusay aint bad. so... Heather (cuz u remember my birthday night (saturday, june 20th if u wanna look it up)... my bathroom "don't call me gemini" haha...)best of luck with cori... be ready for ur karma... and Jackie... its been fun. but i gotta E-Drop you... (GNR!!!) you've been dropped. we can be coo... i expect my $25 bucks when u get bk on this side of town&&hope u feel better... but u gotsta go!

but you two fucking up paved the way for some one that is a m a z i n g, smart, seductive, sexy, beautiful... she's a lil fucked up but i like it. and to think just 1 month ago i was heart broken...

guess u never know how everything could turn around. :)

- Yungin. ((f.l.h))

.she climbs her way up to this bed singing melodies.

she's beauty at its best never settling for less
perfection at its finest cuz her flaws she will confess
im willing to contest any nigga thats tryna take her
she's all about her money and won't let this money make her
she lives for 25 hour days and nights under the city lights
fallin asleep in my arms cuz im the one that makes her feel right
she can take away my pain and my stress in one kiss
everytime i leave i'm the one that she miss
never jealous when the girls stare
cuz she knows that her love can not be compared
so addicted to her im checkin in to rehab as we speak
every time i see her my knees start getting weak
she rocks it all from Manolo's to Hollister polo's
she loves to spend my time but doesn't mind me rollin solo
infatuated with it all from basketball to mac makeup
always breakin my heart cuz she's only a memory when i wake up

- Yungin. ((f.l.h))

lost one.

Normally in a situation like this i would go off a little more than usual because of the sensitivity of the subject. im no longer sensitive to it anymore. if anything it's made me stronger, but we gotta learn from our mistakes.

So. December 1, 2007 i met what i thought was the end of my life... my wife. i just knew she was the one. dat was gon b my baby boo! until february 2009 when she left a nigga at the hospital heart broken on crutches. amazing right? a lot of love there. After i got out of the hospital (and could finally walk again) i went to c my new ex girlfriend. i vividly remember sitting in her living room as these words came out of her mouth: "i just want to be your friend. you need to move on. u can tell me about the other girls its coo." now i know yall are like... dude u kno she didn't mean that... no girl does. hmm. i thought she did. anybody cold-hearted enough to break up wit u in the hospital (it was a nice lengthy stay too) really means that shit. so coo. i took it for what it was. started talkin to an 18 yr old from TSU. Shorty was coo. Nothing ever happened between us. no kissing no sex. her attitude was a bit much but i was tryna stick with black women (and not go back to my snow bunny ways lol). I told my ex about her and she told me, "i don't give a fuck. i told u to move on." coo. So one night im takin the TSU chick and some of her friends to Big Yo's (dropping them off... ionfuckswitdemlikedat) and my ex just so happens to call and hears the new new in the background and goes off. She was pissed to the highest pisstivity (thanks to Brian Angel from Day26 for the word) when she heard this girl. So i have one in my car saying "tell her she needs to chill out. u need to control her" and the other in my ear saying "how u got another bitch in the car with you?" but wait... didn't u tell me you don't give a fuck? hmm... so. this caused a strain on me and the chick from TSU and we parted ways thanks to these words from my ex, "lets work it out babe." so another chick comes about and i start to do what u asked but u get mad about it and all of a sudden wanna work it out... riiiight. hella suspicious. So i let my ex move in (her shit was here more than she was... and its not like she had a job) and the night we were moving some of her stuff her and the TSU chicky got a chance to talk. Lies were told, i got slapped in the back of my head while driving (blacked out for a good 3.5) and when we get home my ex wants to argue and fight... blaming me. but i thought u said move on?

*shrugs shoulders* maybe i missed it...

so my ex goes out of state for a week. i take care of this big ass fuckin dog that can get me kicked out of my apts and get no appreciation for it. the night before she left for Tennessee, a nice chicky leans over the balcony across from me and says "hey my roommate thinks ur hot" if u kno me u kno i said "coo." so the week that my ex is gone to Tennessee me and the roommate chop it up a little. no chill chill shit cuz her and my ex knew each other really well and couldn't (still can't) stand each other. Ex comes back from Tennessee and we fall out. Huge physical altercation. She broke lamps, threw tables, chairs... crazy? yes... y yes she is. bitch had the side of my face swollen and never once did i hit this girl. i pushed and grabbed her so she would stop hitting me but that would be it. Of course she moves out (she's one that walks out a lot when she doesn't get her way). She moves to Rosenberg and then goes to Wharton for a couple weeks. So we talk for that 1st week and then she disappears. dodging phone calls, myspaces... so im like maybe she is finally done. awesome. well... remember the chicky from cross the way (the balcony chick)... well turns out she was best friends with a chick i was chillin wit in 07 before i met my ex. coo. i c them in the pool and then we all start chillin on the reggie. its me, the balcony chicky, the roomate, and the 07 chick. coo. so i have a performance one sunday evening. lets just say tequila is a horrible person but a wonderful drink. needless to say between the 4 of us... we kno each other quite well now. ironically the day after... my ex comes back. okay... so i tell her what happened and she says she never wants to talk to me again. ...but i thought u said "move on"? So y does it matter again?

*shrugs shoulders* maybe i missed it?

Oookay... so me and the balcony chicky start chillin hard... and who comes back again? (never fails) my ex... she says "lets be friends." im thinkin "biish u been sayin this shit since february... it is all of may now" so okay. she finds out me and the balcony chicky are chillin. she asks and i tell her the truth(stop lyin to females. it ain't worth the drama). another temper tantrum thrown by my ex... another argument. so what does she do? she decides to fight fire with fire... she goes and gets her some and then hops into a relationship with this chick for all of about a week. and then calls me like this is Usher's "Confessions" im like... um okay. its like she almost wanted me to be mad and go off... i cared but i didn't... so she goes bk to worrying about me and the balcony chicky (then that situation self-destructs... thats a whole different blog right there). My ex comes over and starts talkin bout how i just have oh so many hoes... (where... plz point em out) she's mad about the girls from across the way and the TSU chick. for what? She's still mad about the break up. So one sunday we're talking and we get into it. Okay she's m.i.a for a week. so the next sunday i text her like "damn u must really be mad" and she says "im just done with your bullshit." hmmm. my bullshit? lemme run this down: soooo u tell me to move on and then get mad when i do. u find out about the girl and wanna fight me and her. u come back only to leave again and get mad when i really start spreading my wings. then you get with this rachet (yezz biish... rachet) azz stud who sits on her ass all day, doesn't go to work, smokes all your weed and cigs, drinks up everything, (has threatened me and ain't even met me by the way) puts you through a table and punches you in the chest over some macaroni and cheese and i have the bullshit?

*shrugs shoulders* i gotta be missing it...

here's the moral of the story: mean what you say and say what you mean. when you break up with someone and tell them to move on, expect it to be done. don't nobody care about yo feelings boo. especially when u leave a nigga in the hospital after the doctors say "hey u may not walk again cuz we don't know whats wrong with u." when you have it all and its a satisfying relationship... stay... cuz you don't know what you've got til its gone (joni mitchell never lied). and everytime you see somebody going for what you used to have... stop getting upset. you let that person go so deal with it. quit with the angry text messaging and phone calls and stop blaming other people for the way things are. be a grown ass woman and take responsibility for your own actions.

and to her: thank you for setting me free. i'm a lil drained on relationships now but i can say i am honestly better without you... hate that it's not the same for u but hey... sorry im a champion... and you...

u lost one.

- Yungin. ((f.l.h))

.the one u let slip away.

The current cards in my hands are those of 3 women from my past. Great friendships from all 3 but i look around and wonder if it is all real. everything is becoming repetitive... its the same story. they all say, "i fucked up... i shoulda went after you but i didn't and that is something i regret." and all i can say to them is, "it's coo." I got studs that i don't know that hate me cuz they gal talks about me. jeesh. don't get me wrong... they're amazing women but 1 in particular i wouldn't mind taking the leap of faith with (and please don't ask who this is... respect it). She doesn't mind the fast life... her personality is off the charts... we fell off and picked up right where we left off. She's an independent no bullshit type of woman. and best thing about her is she's a woman and not a little girl. she's mature and not for all the drama. Awesome... but then i hurt the other 2 right? Wrong... i stay single and i mingle. when its time for me to be with someone... i will be.

So to the ladies dealing with the lames: if there is a good stud within your reach, hold on to them. LEAVE THE LAMES ALONE! If you don't, you'll wind up making her...

- The one you let slip away ((.yungin.flh.))

.the good guy never gets the girl.

so i am finally realizing what females want. they want to be done WRONG. plain and simple. here i am... the "good nigga" i get with these girls who say that they're tired of the same thing with every girl. They're tired of the lies, tired of the games, tired of being mistreated.. then thats when i step in. im that all around "good nigga" i treat girls like royalty, no games, no lies (no reason to), love to surprise them with flowers juss cuz i want to... i cook (really cook. not noodles... im talkin italian, tex-mex, soul food, breakfast) and what do they do... they become exactly what they despised. they lie to me, play games wit me, and mistreat me. so where does the flaw lie? what is it that i do that makes these girls wild out. i kno it ain't the sex... im on half of houstons "refer a friend" list. i got ex's from when i was 16 that still talk about how good it was (fucks wit me hehe). its like they see me and they see their ticket to upgrade... i upgrade them from this no goals, can't dress, screw my future lifestyle and bring them up to sweet, goal oriented, goin back to Jesus, job havin, stilletto & hollister wearing females. and what happens... DUCE DUCE! as quick as they come they go. after i have given them my heart, my love, my crib, my car (b4 i wrecked it tryna go c one of em), my money, my time, and showed them how life could really be... the cheat, they lie... i don't understand it. where do i fuck up? where do i fall short? I am what 9 out of 10 femmes claim to want... a good nigga. but then u mistreat this good nigga. im juss like the more u screw me the harder u make it for the girl after u. my niggas say for me to treat girls like shit and not royalty and maybe they'll stay. i mean i could but i don't have the heart to. im not a fuck nigga... im sweet. girls melt when i smile at them. girls say i express my feelings so poetically that they fall easily. so what do i do?



continue to be me and know that my dude Eliseo was right...

the good guy never gets the girl.





- Yungin.

.dear baby Jesus.bless the ignorant ones.

so. throughout the week i've seen and been apart of some interesting situations. ima make my few points and be up outta here.

First off: know who's gonna have your back. know who are really friends and who will let people dog you out. if you thought they was yo nigga and they let people take shots at you... that ain't ya nigga. they frauds.

2. Find a backbone. Stand up for yourself.

3. As long as you know that you did your part, you should feel successful.

4. lemonade&&ciroc watch me diddy bop

5. Learn how to give some fuckin respect. You niggas kill me callin disrespectfully at 7:30am. leave the bullshit for after noon.

6. Females stop lyin. Tell the truth. Its free.

7. Why do lesbians cheat? If u commit to being in a relationship, BE COMMITTED! stop screwing people over. and if u get caught be real.

8. Stop throwing around the word "love". that is a real word and real feelings should be attatched. when you say that, say it because its true.

9. Its okay to be forward but stop sendin ya pussy thru the mail.

10. Stupidity is a virus. Please go cop your vaccines.

- Yungin.

i just wanna be successful...

Sunday, July 5th@ the escape lounge (914 Prairie):

21+
Free all night
$5 Patrone shots
$100 bottles
Go DJ Shawney on the 1's&2's
DRESS CODE IN EFFECT!


come out and support da yung nigga yung cru. bring friends. hit me up if u want vip.
dig me.

yung.crusay[F.L.H]