.relapse.

[no poetry. all thought.]

She...

seduces me with her smile... I see her dimples in my sleep
Her skin is perfect... Head to toe, her tone is like... her tone is like how I like my coffee... madd cream... make a nigga wanna swim in her all day... Every tattoo and piercing in the perfect place
Her voice can wake a nigga out they sleep... i crave to hear it. I love how she laughs... makes me think of her dimples
I fantasize about her moans...
My God.
Her body... perfect size, perfect shape... my arms feel so good wrapped around her. I like to get close to her cuz the smell lingers on my clothes...

She...

doesn't understand me. i think my past has put a damper on our future. Its hard trying to express to someone how much you really love them. Its like... idk how to prove my love anymore... it sucks even more when she wont give me the chance. Its hard being 2.5hrs away... 
i guess... 
I just wish that i could rip out my heart and show her how fucked up it is...
open my chest and let her see my soul... let her see that her name is written all over it
Its hard when somebody has a wall up. That shit kills me. Women want the world but don't wanna take they wall down. 

She...

hurts me by being so far away. It rips me apart. When somebody's been in your soul, your heart, your mind every day for x amount of months and you haven't seen them or talked to them in x amount of months and they come back man... its like Jesus just dropped a little gift on ya doorstep...
they act happy, tell you how happy they are that you're back, tell you they love you, drop everything so you can reconnect...
and then the "i love you's" stop...
then the "i miss you's" fade...
the video chat stops...
then the calls
the texts...
next thing you know you're just another nigga with a status that she likes on facebook

She...

acts as if her feelings haven't changed... as if im not doing enough...
as if she ain't seen several missed calls and unanswered texts in her inbox from me
as if she doesn't see that she's tearing me apart...

I feel like i'm losing my fucking mind.

I feel like I been sober for months and just relapsed out the blue...


It felt so good but it hurts so much.






I know. Im being too emotional.



- Yung.