.confessions.

I've loved her since i met her 5 years ago. I hadn't quite figured out what kept us apart until recently. Her words "I can't get caught up with you, Charlene," have been echoing in my mind since she said it. I just feel like... maybe if she took the fear out of her mind, things could work. I mean... i'm the "run to" between every relationship. 3 LONG years i waited for her to leave the last one. 3 years of being away from her made my reintroduction to her body the most incredible feeling i've felt in... well... 3 years. Somehow within all of this i managed to lose my mind while my tongue was inside her. Thoughts of her plague me daily and i can't help but think "stop the bullshit Crusay." See her fear of me has created my fear of her. Whats the point of getting involved with someone that has you playing the "in between" position? She's just gonna leave again. Something says i need to leave that alone cuz its gonna be another heartbreak.

I fell for her before i'd even been face to face with her in person. *beatbox* computer love. lol call it what you want. whatever it was... it just happened at a bad time. i kept going back to someone that had abused me previously, and she was just too busy for me. Crazy thing is... she likes to be spoiled. I can't spoil you if you don't have the time right? we did the back & forth thing... she even cheated on her gf for me. then here i was couldn't leave mine alone for her. now im single and she's happy and im just the nigga she calls when her chick ain't puttin in enough time. not to mention she's abt 4 months in this relationship and she's already moving out of state with her. 

good old fashioned life.

she keeps appearing in my dreams. begging me back, apologizing, promising that she's changed and its fucking killing me. im so weak when it comes down to her, but the things she's done in the past are unforgivable. 

she loves me to the bottom of her soul, but my last relationship hurt her more than it hurt me. i guess i gave her some sense of false hope that we could be something again. a nigga couldn't do it though. she'd just be all of the bitching, complaining, ordering around that the last one was. i mean she's supportive as shit, she just gets on my fucking nerves. That's why we didn't stay together. I don't know why females don't realize you can't force someone to be with you... it will only force them away

I don't understand why she thought that we could be back together. I mean... she recently had a kid and lied about how she had it. I wonder if she forgot she left my black ass standin on crutches in the hospital 3 years ago? 

O_o

hi bitch, bye bitch. and in case you didn't get it... lemme text it to ya bitch!

she deserves better than what she's been getting. we had our brief time together & i wish it wouldn't have turned out how it did. she's just so fucking sneaky. lowkey tho, i think she thought i was tryna get some ass or get back at her ex. shit... we jz hit it off from when i first walked outside & saw her coming up the steps. me & her coulda did some things to the world. we coulda been somethin really big. honestly tho... if that chance EVER presents itself again, idc about wat whoever got to say... im goin for it. she so busy worried about what the world would say... sometimes u jz gotta say fuck the world and follow your heart.

she's not willing to take her time with me. i hurt her every day because i refuse to commit. she got too many things in her life that i wouldn't agree with as her girlfriend. so... i keep my ass in the grey zone.

she's just a friend... and if i could, i would. GOD.... would i! We play... but sometimes my jokes ain't all jokes. If somethin were to happen... i can't say that i'd stop it.




these are my....




- Yungin. ((.f.l.h.))